Creeper Alert

I got off work early and was excited to have some extra time to swim at the gym, without being home too late. I was standing in the bright sunshine and the warm breeze, waiting for the shuttle bus. A little white hatchbacked car pulled over to the curb, just in front of me. After the traffic passed by, a man got out, came around the back of the car, and approached me. He was probably in his early 30's, and was wearing glasses and a button-up collared burgendy shirt. At first, I thought he was going to tell me that the buses weren't running on the regular schedule - because it's Golden Week. But our conversation went something like this:

Him: Nihongo hanashimasu? (Do you speak Japanese?)
Me: Chotto (A little bit)
Him: Doko made ikimasu ka? (Where are you heading?)
Me: Ajikawaguchi (A train station)

He motioned towards the car, and said, "Drive? I drive you?"
My parents always told me never to accept a ride with a stranger, and I figured now was a good time to recall that advice; so I politely told him "Daijobi desu ka...basu kimasu." (It's okay, a bus is coming.)

Him: Doko...go? Live?
Me: Yao sundemasu. ('I live in Yao.' Which I don't, really.)
Him: No, no, I drive.
Me: Daijobi desu...arigato gozaimashita! (It's okay...thank you!)

All well and good, until now.

Him: Ahh. Boyfriend? Have?
Me: No...no boyfriend.
Him: Me, I be your boyfriend.
Me: (awkward laugh) No, no..daijobi desu ka. I don't want a boyfriend.
Him: Yes, yes, I be boyfriend.
Me: No, no...really. Daijobi desu. Don't want boyfriend.
Him: Where from?
Me: Canada kara desu.
Him: Oohh. Itsu...ano...how long, Japan?
Me: Hachi-gatsu made...ichi-gatsu made hachi-gatsu (Until August - January to August)
Him: I drive...I take you...(motioning towards car)

At this point, I was thinking/feeling a couple things.
1) What is wrong with you - what makes you think I would actually accept your offer to be my boyfriend?
2) When is someone else going to come outside...I'm not scared of him, and we're right beside a busy road, but I would be more comfortable if someone else was here.
3) Go away.

Me: No, no, thank you.

He finally headed back towards his car, with some more motioning to indicate he was still willing to drive me - but I just waved...and he drove off.

It creeped me out, to say the least...and made me uncomfortable. If he hadn't left, I would have excused myself and headed back into the lockable office building. Fortunately, he finally took a hint.

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In other news...
I went for a walk today, at lunch. It was warm and sunny, and the fish were jumping again. My Mom is coming on Friday. I visited a beautiful castle yesterday. (I'll blog about it soon, I promise.) I felt light, like I could fly; or at least come flying out of the water for a moment like the silver fish. It was one of those moments where you know that everything will work out, despite how low you feel in dark moments. I walk along a beautiful rock wall, beside a wide river feeding into the ocean, with a bridge across the horizon. It always makes me feel better to walk along the wall, beside the water...I've found a happy place at work.

Life Plans, or Lack Thereof

Today was a great encouragement to me...

Note: As I wrote this post, more and more thoughts came to my head, so I apologize if it's jumbled and hard to follow. And I think it ended up more personal than I intended.

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A little background...
I used to have a plan - a life plan. I knew when I would graduate, where I would probably live, what kind of job I would have, who I was going to marry and when, how many kids I would have, and the shape my life would take for...well, the rest of it. For various reasons, the plan changed. The plan changed to 'no plan'.

Engineering, and specifically Mechanical Engineering, is a very diverse field. There are infinite opportunities for the up-and-coming Engineer, in all capacities, industries, and places. My parents have always told me that I can go wherever and do whatever I want - and I appreciate that, and I believe it (most of the time). But that presents a problem. Assuming I can shoot for the stars and any opportunity I want, I have to pick which star to shoot at.

I've recently discovered that I am interested in a lot more things than I thought - outside of Engineering. At first, I considered switching career paths (after my degree) to something completely different. But I've realized I do like Engineering, and the other things I am interested in can be integrated into my Engineering career (Engineering being so diverse and all). But the problem remains - what will I do, in 2 years, when I graduate, and have the whole world ahead of me.

The No-Plan Plan allows freedom - complete freedom. Freedom to do what I want, when I want, how I want - I get to choose, and I get to screw up, and I get to learn from it. I'm in charge of my life. What I do affects me - when I screw up, it affects me.
(Note - I know it affects the people around me, and my family, too; but for the most part, the major decisions I make in the No-Plan Plan only have a major influence on me.)

But - What if I choose the wrong opportunity? What if I miss out on the best opportunity? What if I turn down a job offer that I should have taken? What if I don't apply for a job that I should have? What if I accept a job I shouldn't have?

So - I've been putting pressure on myself to decide what I want to do with my life; what I want to be when I grow up. And I want to have a plan - so I don't miss out on getting to where I'm going.

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Today...
Today I had a great conversation that provided great personal encouragement to me - in that I don't have to have my career picked out now.

I got a chance to talk to Avrom Salsberg; BC's Trade Representative to Japan. (He and the Osaka Gas Tokyo Office General Manager came for a tour of our lab and to see the projects we're working on). I was fortunate enough to have a couple minutes to ask him some questions, and I asked him about his career, and how he got to where he is now - was it what he planned on, or did it just evolve into what it is? He told me that he didn't plan on it, at all - it just kind of happened. One job led to the next, and that to the next - all opportunities. He kept doors open, and this is where he ended up. He took a degree and ended up doing something else completely different - but he mentioned that he still appreciates the fact that he has the degree, because it provides a background and some knowledge for understanding certain aspects of other things.

I guess I found the conversation encouraging because it assured me that I don't have to have my career picked out now. And if I pick a job after I graduate, and then move on from that to something else - that's okay. Who knows where I'll end up? And that's okay too. And if that place happens to be outside of Engineering, that's also okay.

I also found our conversation encouraging because it made me feel capable and intelligent again. My projects can be frustrating because I find them difficult to understand, sometimes, and while my supervisors are very good and patient at explaining things to me, the language barrier still makes it difficult to understand. Coupled with a lack of conversation in general, I haven't felt all that smart or capable lately. In my conversation with Mr. Salsberg (short as it was), I was able to discuss ideas, express opinions, and exchange thoughts. I feel reassured that I am a capable person, with some form of intelligence, who has something to offer to the world in general. It reassured me that I am still capable of communicating properly. I know what you're thinking - all that, out of a short and not so deep conversation? Yep. :)

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Anyone who knows me knows that I need a plan. I am a planning person. I plan. It's what I do. To be honest, not having a plan scares me. It scares me because I don't know what will happen, and I don't know what I might be missing out on, because I'm not ready for it.

But do you ever just feel like you need to flounder a bit? To figure out where you are, before you can tell anyone else how to find you - how to get there? To learn how to tread water, before you decide which way to move? (Even if you know which way you want to go). I guess that's how I'm feeling.

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I'm not sure what this post turned into, but it is what it is. And it's late (or early), and I'm going to bed. Tomorrow I am going on an impromptu camping trip...I was invited, but I found out about an hour ago (it's 11pm) that we're leaving tomorrow morning at 7am, and all I was told was that it's for one night and I need a blanket. Sigh. Language barriers make for adventures and surprises. Oh welll...I'm off for an adventure - tell you about it when I get back!

3 posts in one day. Overkill? Maybe. But really - the other two were my last night, and this one is my 'the next day'. So there's not 3 in one day, you're just in the wrong timezone.

It's 9:40am. I started working at 9:00am. Will this day ever end!?!? Oh wait, it's only been 40 minutes.



I am frustrated, pissed off, want to go home, and want to throw or smash something. I have been working with Solidworks for 3 days. I say I have been working, because it hasn't. It has some major issues (that apparently weren't solved by purchasing a new computer for me to use), and I don't understand why. Help has been slow in coming, so I'm just dealing with it. I need one of those squeezy stress balls. Or a baseball bat. Or Friday 5:41pm. Blogging my insane frustration is slightly helping, but I know that when I stop blogging on work time, Solidworks will be right there, waiting to welcome me with a memory error and the loss of my carefully calculated changes.

Misery loves company (and believe me, I am currently miserable) - what's your 'worst-day-at-work' (or school) story? Do share...comment!