Saturday, May 24

Chatterbox - Mind. Won't. Stop.

I'm sure you've been in a situation where someone (or several someones) just won't shut up. Welcome to my life.

I know I generally write about the lack of interaction and communication I get, but today - I'd like to admit that there is someone in my life who chatters incessantly. She won't shut up, won't go away, won't even tone it down to a whisper. Just full-steam-ahead chattering, ranting, raving, and imagining.

I like to talk (that's no secret), and there is an extreme deficiency in my talking in Japan, when compared to my talking in Canada (that whole...other language thing). So, apparently, I have decided to make up for it. Yes, I'm admitting it - I talk to myself. Sometimes outloud, sometimes in my head. It's the 'in my head' stuff that gets me.

What do I talk about, to myself, in my head - you ask? Generally nonesense. For your entertainment purposes, some conversation snapshots are listed below (yes, actual conversations I have had with myself). Nonesense includes...arguing whether or not to do something; talking myself into or out of moods; theoretical conversations in situations such as: new relationships, old relationships, job interviews, meeting the Queen, hanging out at home, school, as a lawyer in a court case, as a student meeting a mentor, in the Amazon, as a wife, as a mother, in class, at the beach, with random people, as an animal; mentally writing: novels, self help books, biographies (as myself or someone else); what I would say if people asked me what I talk to myself; designing and inventing machines or random devices - just to name a few.'s annoying. Sometimes I wish I could turn my mind off, and stop it from thinking or talking. I haven't yet succeeded. If you have any ideas, let me know!

Actual conversations I have had with myself (don't laugh. okay, do. I would.):

*2 inch me hanging out in a flower with an aphid...
"Life is hard, my friend. Really hard."
"Hey - life is hard for us aphids too, you know."
"Really? How is it hard for you?"
...(conversations about the difficulty of life ensue)

*swimming; wondering what I would say if people asked what I talked to myself about...
"What do you talk to yourself about?"
"Everything...but nonesense mostly."
"Well what would you tell someone who asked?"
"Hmm...maybe I could tell them I pretended I was a whale."
"The big blue whale slowly floated through the water, wondering where it should go."
"Hm...where should I go. Oh - Plankton!"

*after work, trying to convince myself to go to the gym...
"No. Yes. No. Yes. I don't want to. I don't care. You have to. Well, you don't. But you're going go! No. You'll feel better. Don't care. Do it. No. Yes."

*my life, narrated (I do this more often than you would think.)...
"She weaved slowly through the people moving down the walkway, feeling mellow and quiet. She wondered how long it would take her to get to the gym, and when she would be home again. She glanced ahead of her, noting the funny old men who often sat by the veranda and waved as she went by."

"It's my life, It's now or never, I ain't gonna live forever, I just want to live while I'm alive, It's my life, My heart is like an open highway, Like Frankie said
I did it my way, I just wanna live while I'm alive, It's my life!"

I'd put more, but I don't want you to think I'm too crazy - its too late, isn't it? Anyways. The point of this post mind talks to me incessantly, and I can't make it shut up! Sigh. And I wonder why people think I'm a little crazy.


Anonymous said...

bon jovi...?!?!

at least your crazy mind plays good tunes.

Stephanie said...

Oh you've no idea. The tunes it plays. Crazy, yes. Good taste in music? Yes.

Anonymous said...

stephTUNES. you could come out with the stephPOD and stephPOD accessories, and share your wonderful taste with the whole world.

Stephanie said...

Yeah! And then I'd be rich and famous and known alllll over the world. stephTUNES would be what every child wants from Santa! What every youth, adult, and senior hopes for from their loved ones! I like it. :)